Who Runs the World?

Photo Credit: African Press Club

Dateline: Eixampla, Barcelona, Spain

It’s really a man’s world! If you’re a single woman of a certain age, society mocks you. Everyone makes it a duty to emphasize that it’s a ”sin” to fly solo midlife. If you do get married and fail to produce an offspring or a male heir as is fastidiously required in some parts of the world, you’re treated with utmost disrespect.

Let’s say he put a ring on it and the union is blessed with children, then you decide to be a working mom. Out of the blue, the guilt card is used against you for leaving “dem little ones” at home. Filled with guilt, you might then opt to be a stay-at-home mum. Again, your efforts are not really appreciated because people think you’re at home all day long being indolent.

Peradventure you’re still single because you’re sincerely fed up with all the shenanigans parading as boyfriends, and then proceed to try lesbianism, as some women do. Now, hell is really coming down on you. Judgment day just arrived with a wagging finger, warning that it’s better you were never born. It’s tough.

It’s really a man’s world! If you believe otherwise, meet me in the comment box below. Better be armed with concrete points to buttress your argument.

Do I love being a woman? Absolutely. Do I love Beyonce’s somewhat rebellious song “run the world.” Of course! I’ll hitch a ride with the gals anytime. Bey looked a bit upset and very serious in “run the world” music video, so much that my cousin and I were confused the first time we saw it. The intense dance steps and sky-high shoulder padded feather-inspired blouse left us wondering what the video was up to. Then on a second look, we got Bey’s message. It was about women empowerment.

Please watch Bey’s video “run the world,” on Youtube if you haven’t seen it. Aside from the message, it’s actually entertaining. What’s the connection?

I met with two friends from Kenya and Nigeria last Sunday for lunch in a Mexican restaurant. As we snacked over a plate of roasted corn, while waiting to be served, we started talking about marriage.

The conversation began with questions on why some men feel intimidated cultivating a relationship with a successful or high-achieving woman. It quickly progressed to the dating scene nowadays. We observed that it seems women are more flexible in dating younger men.

My Kenyan friend hilariously blurted out that: “first of all, there’s no dating in Africa.” A chorus of laughter paused the conversation momentarily. She wittingly added that: “in Africa, a man approaches a woman, expresses his interest, she says yes or no. That’s it.”

There’s a valid point in that proclamation. From my experience, many families back home do not entertain talks of a “boyfriend.” But when a man shows up at the door to ask for your hand in marriage, “now we’re talking.” They really do not want to hear about the romantic escapades prior to that. They feign ignorance of any relationship. What matters to them most is marriage. I know this sounds like a sweeping generalization. But it happens.

She went on to say that in her native Kenya, women that date younger men are frowned upon, hence the label: “cradle snatchers.”

It depends on the age gap, right? If it is three to five years between them, would that really be referred to as “cradle snatching”? Come on! If it’s a 25-year gap, maybe it becomes awkward. How come men do that all the time and it’s considered normal?

I asked a friend in Barcelona her thoughts on an older woman versus a younger man. She told me that 30 to 40 years ago, it would be inconceivable for a woman to date a younger man in Spain. But times have changed. According to her, women are more independent today. They spend more time going to school and building a career before deciding to start a family. The change in culture also means that women are not questioned about their choices as before.

Personally, I think you live once. It will be unwise to miss your life partner simply because of age. There is the issue of maturity and intentions, though. More often than not, women are more matured. If the man is up to the task, fine. But what do I know? I’m neither a professional marriage counselor nor do I know anything about marriage. So, I’ll throw the question open.

For the ladies, if you were single, would you date or marry a younger man? For the men, what do you think about that? Why is it ok for a man and not a woman?

.Happy Easter and enjoy!

 

 

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